PhD

A good friend of mine just finished her PhD defense today in Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences. She did brilliantly of course. Her command of the science is a good as anybodies in that room. She may not be as experienced as many of the professors, but she has the raw ability.
I always wonder about myself. I stopped at a Master's degree. At the time, and now really, I decided I wasn't quite passionate enough about the field to go for a PhD. I see some of my friends who have lingered for many years, trying to focus their ideas and their research. I think it's ok to be a bit lost and find your way. In many ways, that's the point of the degree: to show independent thought. I'm just not sure I want to be in that floating state at this point. I'm not committed enough to spend the late nights at the office. I'm not ready to have to stand up in front of faculty and defend my ideas. I'm not ready to be poor again.
So, although I love doing science, and I learn more about it every day, I'm just not at the point where I have to prove my own independence. Can I do it? Probably. Given a push, I think I can work through almost anything. So, perhaps part of holding back is fear. But the other part of it is lack of desire. I think the degree works much better if you've got some passion in it.
I'm just not there yet.
For now, I'll just celebrate with my friend!