Taking Turns Talking

My girlfriend asked me an intriguing question:
"How are you ever to know that anyone in your life really understands what you say?"
It's a good one, I think, because you never really know the answer. A favorite quote, attributable to no one in particular is, "Most people don't communicate, they just take turns talking".
How many conversations have you had with people who tie one vague mention you've made into their own story about something almost entirely unrelated? How often do people misinterpret your question or your concern based on something they think you said?

Technology makes things more difficult. Email is one of the worst culprits of miscommunication. My colleagues and I were discussing how its ability in enhance and inflate misunderstanding and anger. One related a story in which a simple difference of opinion through email built into an argument. Sarcasm is constantly misread. Humor is lost in the casual words of instant communication. The phone, at least, gives you the ability to use voice to communicate some sense of mood and tone, but it is still prone to misunderstanding. Perhaps you're foolishly trying to do something else while the conversation is going on, so you don't listen well to your friend. They assume you've heard something, you completely miss it, and then ask them about it a few minutes later. You can imagine how well that goes over!
Romances created from the guises of an instant messenger window and email can be very difficult. The computer creates an illusion of intimacy that can be shattered by the awkwardness of the first personal meeting. The instant intimacy that you felt online takes time to build.

But what about day to day communication? The doctor give you instructions that you only half understand. Your boss gives you a task that you think you are doing correctly, only to find out that you've completely missed the emphasis. You ask a stranger for directions and simply turn the wrong way. These communications are person to person, face to face, but yet we can still screw it up.

Given all of these possibilities, it's amazing that communication happens at all. It's amazing that you can get problems solved as a group, that you can get to the right place, that you can take the right steps toward health. It's amazing that you can fall in love with someone that you fit with so well, the communication is almost automatic. Maybe that's how you know you're in love. When you know the person you're in love with understands what you say. At least most of the time.....