Yom Kippur

Welcome to the Jewish New Year. Last friday night to Saturday night (or Sunday night, depending on your denomination) was Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
The High Holidays are a special time. Although Rosh Hashanah is mostly a happy holiday, it is the beginning of the ten "Days of Awe" between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur: the Jewish Day of Atonement. It's a time of reflection and repentance for many Jews. Yom Kippur provides the climax, of sorts, for this period of reflection. Many Jews fast and will spend the entire day at synagogue, praying and looking for forgiviness from wherever you believe it comes.
For me, every year, it seems to be a search for someone with whom I can break the Yom Kippur fast. I've fasted pretty much every year that I can remember for a long time. It's never something I look foward to, but I wouldn't feel the same if I didn't do it. If I can, I'll spend the entire day in synagogue as well.
The question is, why? What is it about this holiday that inspires me to observe it?
Part of the reason, I suppose is that I've always done it. But that's not a particularly good or satisfying answer, even if it is partly the truth.
When I moved to England, just after the Rosh Hashanah, my first goal was to find a place to worship for Yom Kippur, and find someone to break the fast with. I managed to do both, despite having to sit through my second Orthodox service ever. It was a very long day and a good chunk of the afternoon service was incomprehensible. But, was that the point?
Are the specific prayers and ritual the key?
Of course, now that I am part of a synagogue that I like, the services themselves mean more to me. The words of the prayers invoke thoughts that reasonate more with more with me than at the Orthodox synagogue. But, I don't even think I go for the prayers. I have a prayer book. I could read them on my own.
To me, it's about being connected. During Yom Kippur, the entire congregation goes through something togther. Most of us are fasting. We are all reflecting on our past deeds. Trying to understand what we did wrong and what we need to improve. Although our thoughts don't lead us the same way, in a sense, you have support. That's also why it's so important to be with people you love.
By the end of the day, when I end my fast I'm exhausted and a bit unsteady, but I always feel clearer: like I've faced something and made it through. Some years, I do feel like I've faced who I am and came through the other side with a better understanding of that, and some ideas as to how I could be better. I think that's mostly why I do it. I come through with an idea of how I can be a better person than I was going in. Perhaps this year I can follow through.